Identifying the four goals of misbehavior
How do you feel??
Bothered, annoyed.
What do you usually do?
Remind, nag, scold.
How does your child usually respond?
Stops temporarily. Later, misbehaves again.
Goal
Attention
How do you feel?
Angry, threatened
What do you usually do?
Punish, fight back, or give in
How does your child usually respond?
Continues to misbehave, defies you, or does what you've asked slowly and sloppily
Goal
Power
How do you feel?
Angry,extremely hurt
How does your child usually respond?
Misbehaves even more, keeps trying to get even
Goal
Revenge
How do you feel?
Hopeless, like giving up
What do you usually do?
give up, agree that the child is helpless
How does your child usually respond?
Does not respond or improve
Goal
Display of inadequacy
Source: Step - The Parent's Handbook
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